Wahoo!!!

Numbers look great!  No more injections!! Almost off everything, numbers went up even though meds were decreased!
 An other test Friday...

Yay!

Today was a GREAT day! All of the pain is almost gone after three days of icing,  I even got to sleep on my back last night. 
After my freak out yesterday I woke up less anxious today. Thankfully!  After a couple easy hours at work I  had my first appointment at obstetrix. I love it there! After I filled out a million pages of paper work, I had my ultrasound. Both babies measured right on, their heart beats were both 177 and they are starting to look like babies now. You could see the line of the head and starting of the hands and feet. Its so amazing how fast it goes. If they are in perfect position we could know the sex already in three weeks!! Crazy! Also the separation sac was gone! Phew!!
After the ultrasound one of the doctors came in to talk to me. The doctors have agreed that I need a circlage (stitches ) so surgery will be June 30th, I have to be there at 9am and I wont get to leave until 5pm. I have to take a week off work and ill be spending July 4th on the couch. She said its extremely painful for a few days.
After I met with the doctor I met with my nurse practitioner,  and she is great!  We talked for hours and went over anything and everything, had an exam and after 3 hours my first appointment was over, and i feel good about the future, not to say im not going to freak out occasionally, but im in good hands and I trust this is the plan....

I find myself worrying, a lot.  Its been a fairly stressful beginning. When I tell people that, they stress me out about stressing out. And like a friend who experienced the same thing as I did,  told me yesterday until they've been in my shoes they don't know what im going though. To be honest I am scared shitless. I find that every time im coming up on an ultrasound I worry more, I guess I am subconsciously protecting myself because I know I could find out anything.  Im scared im going to miss carry and maybe because that's how I could loose them at this point. The thing about that, that bothers me most is when I was pregnant with the boys I worried about blood and one day there was blood, towards the end I worried about miss carrying, even though i told myself at 20+ weeks you dont loose them they are there and just need to finish growing and one day they were gone. Yes im a natural Worrier but did and do I subconsciously know? Friends who have been through loss told me when you've experienced loosing children being pregnant isn't fun its just hurdles,  I thought they were crazy, I believed if I could just get pregnant again ill be fine. Well i am truly thankful beyond belief but I cannot wait until December is here and these babies are here and healthy.
It was a kind of stressful few days. Im not sure what happened but sometime around Saturday afternoon the lumps turned to rocks I was so miserable from the pain it was unreal. Sunday we had a blood test and went to bruch I practically begged a nurse to take me off and my numbers were good enough go skip a day, at brunch I was in so much pain and so sick I just really wanted to cry. I spent the rest of the day on the couch with heat and tylenol. I was told it was safe to use this natural pain reliver gel from whole foods, which I've been putting on the lumps,  and it actually gave me relief, although brief ill take what I can get! Its just topical,  I would never put anything in my body! Well I took tylenol, put in on and started sweating. I grabbed my phone and start googling. Sure enough almost everything says not to use it when your pregnant. Of course I FREAKED out, i emailed my nurse ( you know they can't wait to get rid of me) text my aunt and googled some more for anything to put my mind at ease. When I talked to the nurse the next day she said don't worry that I had used it,  just to stop now, and not to stress. Um yeah not stress, if my numbers are actually good, then there is a seperation sac, if the babies are good my numbers drop, or im in pain, or using unsafe products or doing acrobatics trying to switch from side to side sand avoiding the rocks in my back or pulling ab muscles... with all that said my numbers dropped again and im on injections the rest of the week, at least. To give the placentas more time to take over. I freaked out about that too and emailed again. She said even though they dropped a bit, they are still normal and she doesn't expect them to drop again... im very anxious to go tomorrow,  im glad its 2 hours I have 1 million questions for my poor new doctor! 
I realize that this is in gods hands, and out of mine but im trying to do everything in my power, I just so badly want it to work out perfectly.

Oh yeah and I had a nurse call the other day about my apt tomorrow and I asked her for advise on healing the rocks, that tylenol and heat were not helping,  she proceeded to tell me heat can make it worse and she has had patients say it lasted up to a year! How many nurses told me heat! Seriously?? That night I came home and decided to ice it, at lease if it was numb I wouldn't feel it. And its helping!  Im doing it every night and its much better I even laid on my back for a few minutes last night! It can only get better! Last night I even felt ok to eat dinner,  which I was thankful for I got to see my parents. (Mom had to do my shot in the restaurant bathroom ) but im not going to lie when im sick I want to feel good, when I feel good I worry why!! Gees im a mess! I guess at this point all I can do is hope and pray.

8 weeks

Today is 8 weeks!  carbs seem to be the thing i can eat still, and ive descovered water tastes best with ice and a straw.
I Had an other very rough night but the good news is I get to skip my injection tonight!  Im so glad, im not sure what changed but I have been in the worst pain ever,  the last 3 days.  Its like all of the oil that is still in there has coagulated and make a huge lump the length of the muscle and is hard as a rock, I can't sit stand sleep I've tried tylenol, ice,  heat... nothing. My body is just done, and I think the intensified nausea is from the pain. Im so thankful to be in the home stretch and this pregnancy will be so much more enjoyable.
We did tummy pictures today and I was pretty suprised how much my tummy grew since 4 weeks pics!!
Cannot wait until Friday! Hopefully with any luck ill be off all meds by then too!

Blaah

I assumed the further I got the better id feel. Not so much! I even puked this morning,  im not looking forward to going to work today. (Please do not let me get sick at work!!)
I fought hard to feel like this :)  its a good sign! I just hope I can make it through the day!!

Rough nights

The last two nights have been so rough. Wednesday night I was really crampy all night, every time I moved  I kept telling myself everythings ok. I was in so much pain from the injection I just couldn't sleep. When I stood up my overies pinched so hard I doubled over, yesterday was just an off day I just never felt good and I was pretty sure I was going to throw up at work I'm so glad I didn't. Then last night the injection, OMG! Hurt so bad going in it was like I could feel it in the muscles all the way down my leg. At midnight I was walking around the house, I was in such excruciating pain I didn't know what to do with myself. I had shooting pains going down my leg , it was awful between that and trying so hard not to throw up it was a long rough night! Good news my nurse  is lowering the injections to half starting tonight and hopefully I'll be able to get off of it asap!
This weekend ill be 8 weeks, I am so thankful every time another week is down!
Im excited for my appointment next Friday, seeing them again and ill get to hear the heartbeats too!

Blood levels

Lab results came back great, phew! Reducing a little more starting Saturday. Of course not the shots yet boo :(
oh well in the home stretch at least!
I was relieved to hear that everything is good because I feel crampy today but she said its good its just the uterus stretching and growing.

Crazy

I have 3 client friends that are pregnant too! Its awesome,  they all live pretty close to me and we are all just a few weeks apart!  I love it! Its the first for two of us and she might be having twins too. One girl did ivf with her first and has helped me so much! The other I went to high school with its pretty cool!
Two maybe 3of my best friends are going to try soon its going to be amazing! ! Yay!!

Update

I feel like my tummy seems a little bigger today, kind of weird!  I ate better today and yesterday it seems like if my stomach doesn't get as empty I get less nauseous. I had my first craving this morning,  I wanted a blueberry bagel with blueberry cream cheese. Im ready for tomorrow!  I had a half of one after work, it was delish! They are so right when they say when you eat what you crave it is SO good!! I don't think anything has tasted really good for weeks (except oj) 
Thankfully I have not had any issues from the separation sac. So far so good, I hope by my next ultrasound its gone.
Blood tomorrow,  hopefully everything will be great and I can get off a little more meds!

Weight loss

Im a little concerned because I just realized I've lost 10 pounds!  Considering with the pcos I struggle to loose A pound, that is a lot! I've definitely lost my appetite but I am eating as much as I can and healthy foods. My books say I should be able to start wearing my maternity close, instead im in 6's with a belly band. I emailed my nurse we will see what she says...

She said its not abnormal and to try to eat 6 small meals and 80-100 oz of water. Easier said then done! I will do my best! Water is no problem its just so hard to eat when your not hungry and feel like poop!!

7 weeks

Thank gd an other week down!! I had an ultrasound and blood test this morning, numbers and both babies look great measuring perfect. (I've decided its a boy and girl because one heart beat is faster then the other. Not that there is any merit to that at this point but it sounds good :)
The not so good news was,  I have a small separation sac which means one of the sacs slightly pulled away. It doesn't effect the baby but best case my body absorbs it and it goes away, worst case I have some spotting. They say the best thing you can do is stay off your feet. Awesome.  That's not so easy with my job, I've already cut my hours to 4 five hour days. And I feel like I have done so good about resting a lot. I don't know what too much is now, they just say listen to my body if I get tired and crampy its too much. Im always tired these days and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize this pregnancy. On the other hand its hard enough to pay bills with my hours cut and need to work while I can... my blood lady at ccrm that I love, said to expect the dr's to make me stop working at 20 weeks. (At least when that happens ill have disability insurance this time, thank you Aflac! Although its not much it will help).
Obviously the babies are most important, we will figure the rest out. Its still a little hard to eat, nothing sounds good except pasta with just butter or cheese and fruit.  I try to eat as much healthy food as possible at this point its just good to eat anything!! I filled out my transfer papers today so besides blood work this was my last appointment at CCRM. Next Friday I move on to OBX! We are very slowly getting off meds for the next 3 days the only difference is 1 less progesterone.  Slow is good id like no more scares, concers or worries for the next 29- ish weeks!!

Twice the blessing

Yesterday we had our first ultrasound appointment. I met Jason there and the ultrasound tech came out to get us right away. As we were walking back she said I need to talk to you first, I just looked at Jas. I was so glad I hadn't had blood work or anything yet so I knew nothing was wrong! She began to tell us we were there too early, my calendar got messed up and I was only 5 weeks (which I knew was wrong) and If we couldnt see anything then it would either be because it was too early or something was wrong. So we went around and around for about 15 minutes talking about when to reschedule and If Jason has to go out of town next week it would postpone it an other week etc... Thankfully we talked long enough we finally figured out Dr. Schoolcraft put the wrong transfer date in the computer, and surprise surprise I am 6 weeks and 2 days (just what I said)! So she frantically got the room ready and we did the ultrasound. Immediately she said "oh I see 2 babies and 2 heartbeats!! "Ill let that soak in for a minute while I measure the other stuff"
We were both so happy and excited, its the best thing in the world to see the little heartbeats! I think most people probably freak out at multiples but when you think you have one and find out you have 3, nothing is shocking! Especially since we chose two this time and assumed it most likely was. My body is so all or nothing and numbers were kind of a give away!! It  was fun to see everything and she gave us 8 pictures. Each by themselves, each heart beat and together. Baby A measured at 6 weeks and 2 days, .42cm, heart rate was 127 beats per minute. Baby B measured at 6 weeks and 3 days, .50cm, heart rate was 119 per minute. Everything is perfect!
I feel good, Im tired and nauseous all the time but I know its a good sign. Sometimes if I force myself to eat it helps the nausea go away. Im still on all the meds, my estrogen is 825 and they want it greater then than 300 and my progesterone is 26.4 and they want it greater than 20, so everything is great but they want to  leave it an other week. I have an other ultrasound and  blood test Monday and my first appointment at OBX on the 27th. Its a 2 hour appointment! But im ready to go to them, talk about all the important things and get my questions answered! What a great day yesterday was! I am so so happy, excited and thankful! My favorite comments of the day were Emma said " Im going to be a double cousin!!" and my Grandma said "thats the best thing that happened to me all year" Everyone was so excited and happy and said such sweet things! I am so grateful to be loved and surrounded by such amazing family and friends!!

This is a Picture of both babies, The one on the bottom is A (the picture is sideways so its actually on the right)

6 weeks

I am six weeks now and im so thankful, (plus I read in my what to expect book that an ivf pregnancy isn't safe until 6 weeks or something. Yeah I regretted reading that, but here we are. One hurdle down.)
My body is definitely changing,  and my tummy popped out a little this week. ( My friend Mandy Henry told me i would show early with a second pregnancy, she was not kidding! Im definitely not big or anything you can just see a difference especially since I lost a little from not being able to eat much)
Pregnancy does funny things to you and your body and its just funny to notice them as they happen. I get really cold all the time, my sweet tooth is gone, im freaking out because every time I was my hair im shedding WAY more then ever. I knew that happened after you have a baby but not before.  Im very jumpy in the car all of the sudden, tv makes me cry often (and then I laugh at myself ) quizzyness comes and goes all day and night, and apparently no hamburgers for me! at least right now. We went to dinner with Joel and Lindsay Friday night to a burger place in Castle Rock and as soon as they set it down I wanted to puke, it was not happening! ! Im definitely more thirsty, and when I have to pee, I HAVE to pee! I know things are progressing, because im always noticing changes. (Although last week was so calm I felt the need to take a test just to reassure myself,  and even though I knew, I was still nervous while I was waiting. But a positive never gets old! I left it there to look at for days. It was the digital kind that said pregnant, I did not throw it away until the screen went blank).
Im so thankful every minute of everyday. Im looking forward to moving on to OBX, im not positive but I think by 8 weeks ill be there, ill find out on Tuesday....

Update

I had a blood test this morning, and levels look great.
Estrogen is 500 they want it above 300, progesterone is 40 they want it above 20.
They are leaving everything alone until ultrasound.
I feel good! Can't wait for next Tuesday! !